Honoring Mom.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday.  She would have been 65 had she not passed away a year and half ago.  I miss her every. single. day.  It comes in different forms.  There are days when we'll be busy, and as I fall asleep I'll think about her (and how I hadn't thought about her or felt sad that day); there are times when I instinctively think about giving her a phone call, with a quick realization that it's not an option any more; each holiday, birthday, or milestone event my heart aches for my mother to be there.  Evelyn is at such a fun age and has such a quirky, loving personality that I'm sad my mom didn't get to experience her more, and likewise I'm sad that Evelyn will only know her Nana by pictures. 

I wish we could have gone shopping and out for lunch for her birthday...perhaps shared a bottle of white Zinfandel.  There is so much I would tell her if I had the chance.   The simple things seem so lovely now.  This is a lesson I hope I learn from, as there are so many still on this earth that I love dearly.

 My mom was very strong, never one to complain about physical pain (cashiers, yes; pain, no).  She lived her life the way she chose and would never let a word like 'cancer' define her or how she would live.  It's only fitting that even in her death, a piece of her continued on through donation.

Tuesday, December 9 (the day before her birthday), the local hospital where my mom received her care and where she passed away, had a dedication ceremony for a new display in their lobby.  It honors 60+ "heroes" from the previous year who gave through organ donation.  The lobby was filled with grieving loved ones who came to remember and honor those who have passed away.
The display was touching.  I'm glad that others can see her picture and see a little bit of her legacy and how important she was to so many.

It was humbling to see the other photos as well and read a little bit about some of the people, many of whoms death meant that someone got a change to live.  There were many younger than my mom, including small children.  Many came to the dedication with grief I could tell was fresher than my own.  Like I said, it was humbling. 

We were given a sheet with the names of all the donors in order that their photo appeared.  Nathan held the sheet and would announce, "Nana's coming in 3 more photos Nana's up in 2 photos...", and so on.  At the right time the kids kneeled down to get a good look at Nana.  I overheard Ella say, "I'm smiling at Nana because her smile makes me smile."  Then Nathan added, "I can't look at Nana without smiling."  It was a sweet moment.

I'm thankful for this display and the efforts of those who put it together.  I know the kids would like to go see it again, and we likely will.  It will be running for several months, it's only a couple of miles from our home, and I love moments to talk about my mom with the kids.  

Matt also shared with me last night that at Bible study the group was asked the discussion question, "If you could spend Christmas with anyone, who would you spend it with?".  Both Nathan and Ella answered "Nana"!  

Her memory is strong, and we love will always love her dearly!